maria's journal
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Below are the 10 most recent journal entries recorded in the "gypsymaria" journal:[<< Previous 10 entries]
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06:17 pm
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my wish for myself in the year 2007: a boyfriend (haha!)
happy to have Mama's eyes...
couchy
bangag
I feel like slapping the world! join me!!
Tintin wants a boyfriend next year...hmmmm....
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04:30 pm
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toyota
happy happy with our new toyota innova v... someday I'll buy myself a car from my own money..yiiipppeeee!!!!
I was with my young cousins... we picked them up so we could share the happy moment with them hahahaha!!!!
THey are smart and gwapings (raw??) hehehe!!
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04:29 pm
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red, gold highlights
At last! I have my red and gold highlights!!! I've been wanting to give some life on my hair for a long time and here it is hahahaha!!!! Punk not deAD!!!! DAMN IT I'M GOING CRAZY AGAIN........!!!! I'm not contented with these colors though..I want bigger, bolder, screaming-rebellion colors and so I'm gonna hit the salon again soon!!!! wahhhhh!!! this is what happens when you're having a goodbye-to-your-teenager-years syndrome, I want to freeze time and relive my teeny-weeny days- rugged pants, converse shoes, and screaming hair again!!!!!!!! I love being carefree.
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09:57 pm
[Link] | hopefully this will be the last oblation run that I'll have while in UP Diliman....
   
Re: Tuition fee increase in the Philippine's premier state university.
Around 30 men run and walked naked...
  hmmmm..satisfied faces eh??? pictures taken after we ogled over the men above (kidding!)
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08:12 am
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4 B's and more
pPhilippines over-all is a poor country, that's what I think. With the exception of elites partying endlessly and ostentatiously; celebrities who get more than what their work are really worth; and bunch of other "lucky" people, signs that this country is backward and sick are abundant.
I think I am about to add my Economics 190.1 professor Alburo to my list of genius and truly intellgent scholars in UP. This morning, he lectured to us the models of development in economics' perspective. In addition to his discussion, he addressed to us the Four B's which in his view do not contribute anything in the development of the Philippines. The four B's are- basketball, billiards, beauty pageants, and what else- boxing. I believe that there are other numerous things that must be counted in this list (though not all must not necessarily start with the letter B!).
Basketball- Basketball players earn A LOT. They could make money consumable for their entire lifetime which would take an ordinary Filipino HIS LIFETIME to earn, or more probably not which means that an ordinary Juan dela Cruz could work ten times or even more as hard as this basketball superstar does, but still wouldn't be able to earn even a quarter of what the big stars do. Very sad isn't it?
Billiards- We need fun of course! People has to have some leisure once in a while. And yes, leisure could be a source of income. And why not eh? I just observe a way way back and until now that Filipinos give so much importance to figures who excel in sports that we forget that there are so much more people who had and have been contributing ESSENTIALLY to the Philippine society. We do not celebrate Filipino scholars, scientists, ordinary people who have done so much for the society, and the like the same way we do for those billiards players, etc. This country is as screwed as it can be.
Beauty pageants- oh, we get to the exciting part, not to mention very appealing and attractive to the eyes. Sure, we love Filipina beauty, but beauty pagents implicitly tell us that this is what constitutes beauty for them- pointed nose, 5'8" and above, 34-24-34, flawless skin, and just close to "perfect" everything when it comes to physical assets. Nevermind what those women have for the interview portion-they could get their way with one-liner answers anyway, right? And people will still love them. Pinays won't be joining these kinds of things if there are no groups of people who create and fund those shallow competitions in the first place. We don't have to prove to the universe or to the whole world that we are beautiful. Each woman is and can be beautiful in her own way. Sometimes it is inevitable that these pagents breed insecurity and lack of self-esteem and self-confidence to those who are outside the pageant's criteria. Pageants have a standardized conception of beauty and I just feel sorry to those who join them as well as to the victims of insecurity that they subliminally breed in the society. So where is development here? Can you see any from the time Ms. Gloria Romero won the title of Ms. Universe? Beauty pageants have tried and succeeded only artificially to inject "social relevance" to whatever crap they are doing by saying that they do this and that for the empowerment of women, conservation of the environment, and so on. Hello? If you are really interested in helping the society, this pitiful society, then you won't go walking and parading in swimsuit with tons of make-up on your face but rather, you will join groups, organizations, NGOs and whatnot to HELP people. You get it? Do something relevant and substantial. Being beautiful doesn't hurt, and that's true in my opinion. But we can be both beautiful and really useful at the same time. That's the way to exude real Pinay beauty.
Boxing- Manny Manny more money for Pacquiao. We are a poor country, I must repeat. Now, many children are dreaming to be the bext Pacquiao. They don't dream of attending schools anymore because prize in the future are so vivid- millions of money, great house, Mercedes Benz, and a beautiful wife. Many people view the good life as having these things, nevermind whether they're being useful or not. What really matters is that they have to crush their opponent thru knockdown and get the digits after. Manny is a hero for many- a hero? how? Truly, we get the sense of Filipino pride because of this man but it's not sustainable, and damn, his being champion doesn't add to the Philippines' GDP or GNP. We have screwed sense of who's our true heroes. Manny gets invited often in Malacanang where the politicians get to say that they're "friends" with this guy, thinking that they could associate Manny's victory with their own.
What hope is there for this country? We are acting insane thinking we're not. We are screwed. And we have to realize that. We have to hope that someday our own craziness will wake us up once we figure out that we really don't have anything left to eat.
I better stop writing bullshit.
Current Music: orinico flow by enya (grabe!!! majestic!)
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08:45 am
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physical ache
just got from the gym and man, my back is aching right now! My doctor once told me that I have a mild scoliosis and I think that I worked out too much, lifted too heavy machines that's why it's hurting right now. I'm afraid, I don't w ant to be a hunchback anytime soon. I used to enjoy bodycombat so much but this afternoon, I wasn't able to do all the move because I wasn't feeling well. What's happening? I'm trying to keep myself busy so that there will be little room for me to think that I'm unhappy and now I am hurting physically this time? Can't I escape pain in any way? Someone please give me drugs. Drugs that can make me forget.
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02:43 am
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when I grow old
When I grow old (if ever I'll be), I want to look at all these pictures all over again and think how once upon a time...I've been young full of life, dreams, questions, and whatnot....
  
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03:58 pm
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moving on for the nth time around
Loving someone makes us grow, "mature" in ways we don't even expect. We want to tell "I love you" directly to someone's face but we just can't, something or someone might be holding us back. We end up getting hurt because of all the days, weeks, or even years that have passed without letting someone know that we care, oh, I'm talking bullshit here. Why don't I just say that I regret not telling someone that I love him and all the other things I long to tell him. At the same time, I'm deeply hurt that I've waited for so long, rather make it oh so fucking long time to hear directly from him what's really up between us. Note: This is fiction (if you want to believe it). "Love is short. Forgetting is long." - Pablo Neruda
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01:23 am
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I'm so happy (minsan lang 'to kaya namnamin na)
I knew it, he was not drunk at all. But I think his move was clever...and sweet. haha.
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08:30 pm
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I'm over but it doesn't hurt to reminisce right?
Because I was so bored waiting for this "thing" to download completely, I goggled some things randomly. I've read of some break up quotes and brokenheart quotes and these two strike me the most:
"If someone you love hurts you cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it."
True enough. I've loved some men in my lifetime and everytime that love wasn't reciprocated or was reciprocated but did not last as I want it to be, I was just left crying on my own. Crying is a sign of my weakness and strength at the same time. Weakness because I can't handle heartbreak without resorting to spilling drums of tears for many days and nights. Weakness because I've been naive and blind to see that indeed they've been good to me but that didn't mean that I have to dedicate for them a daily ritual of agony, despair, and loneliness. Strength because I've been crying but hey, I'm still alive. I still cry because of the ones I loved but it rarely happens now. It's not a cry of wanting the love to come back because the truth is, anyone who has hurt me that much can't have my love back. They cared, sure thing, but it wasn't for long. I think they've chose to get busier with their busy lives, or whatever they have there. I just hope they chose the right decision to ignore me like a piece of garbage.
Build a bridge- what do I resort myself into? I studied, talked with friends, reflected, and immersed myself into other things.
Get over it- I've realized that what we shared was beautiful and inspiring. I've also realized that it wasn't wasted because I learned a lot from it. And damn, the experiences changed me. I've realized too that not all beautiful things are forever. I've realized that a man can tell you all the alibis in the world but if he doesn't fight for your love, then maybe he's just not that into you. In short, he doesn't really love you so you have to move on and find a life.
"Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours."
It's hard to fight sadness but yes, I'm glad it was once mine. I am also glad that I found out earlier the kind of men that they are. They actually made me realize what I'm really looking for in a man. And if chance will be nice to me, I will even thank them for teaching me so many beautiful things.
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gypsymaria's journal